The Paleo Project, Day 30

Day 30?  Really??  Already??? But... I'm not a size 2 yet!!! 


In all honesty, I haven't lost much weight with Paleo this time around.  I'm not sure where the gaps are in my process but it's probably somewhere in here:

• too many 4 oz glasses of wine
• too much fruit
• not enough protein
• not enough carbs
• too many paleo treats
• not enough cardio
• too much stress

So as I embark on month 2 tomorrow, I'll but dusting off the ol' food journal and cataloguing my intake and output.  This should help me find the gaps and fix what isn't working.  Which is totally ok!  Sometimes these things need to be fine tuned.  That's why it's a process and not an instant remedy. 


The great news is that my workouts have been feeling amazing.  In doing all 3 Lurong Living Paleo Challenge workouts, I felt really great and even surpassed the goals I had made for myself.  It's really a strange feeling for me-- to not be last.  To feel strong.  In fact, there are times when I approach my loaded barbell and try to mentally prepare myself to lift it, only to pick it up and realize it's a lot lighter than I'm used to.  Or, maybe I need to rephrase that--- only to pick it up and realize that I am a lot stronger than I used to be!  When a 95 pound clean and jerk feels relatively easy at the end of a workout, I'm learning that I need to let go of my preconceived ideas are of what I can do.  I see my body and am unimpressed.  I honestly see a fluffy body that needs a lot of work, but what I'm learning is that in addition to fluff, I have a lot of strength and muscle that I need to celebrate and push harder. 


I need to shift a bit so that the big focuses on this Paleo Project for myself are not just in losing weight, but in working on accepting my body for what it is, how it looks, and also pushing it to perform better.  I need to stop thinking about what the scale says and focus on my performance.  Fluff loss will come while I'm busy focusing on clean, healthy, whole foods and working out at a higher intensity, pushing myself to lift more and work harder than my mind thinks I can. 


The only limits are the ones I have placed on myself.
And those limits are going to be changing. 

Paleo Project, Day 17 and an Official End to Being Grounded

Yep.  An end to being grounded.  Why?  Well for two reasons:
1.  Being grounded is just not super conducive to my lifestyle right now.  I'm single and I'm social.  Trying to cut myself off from the things that I love to do and I enjoy doing is kind of silly and unnecessary.  Now, I don't need to overload my schedule like I had been doing, but I also don't need to fully restrict myself.  It's just too much.
2.  I was failing miserably.  Not only did I have my two "pre-approved" activities, but I was starting to make exceptions for other events too (including a birthday dinner tonight).  Additionally, with my mom visiting we went out a lot. 

So I'm calling an end to my self-imposed seclusion and am going to have fun for the rest of the month.  I will attempt that item on my list again at a later time... maybe in February when it's a nice short month.

While being grounded is dead, my Paleo Project is still going, full steam ahead. I found  a recipe for the most amazing paleo chocolate chip cookies online (www.livinpaleocuisine.com) and think that even if I go back to a less paleo life down the road, this will still be my go-to chocolate chip cookie recipe.  They are THAT great. 

Aside from that there isn't much new to report on the paleo front.  Most of my detox side effects are gone (with exception to the migraine that is currently gracing my life) and I'm starting to feel more energy!  It's a beautiful day to eat clean!

From Snuggle to Bubble

Snuggles.  Snuggling.  Cuddlefests. Bear Hugs.  Spooning. 


These are things that I love to do.  Correction.  Loved to do.  I don't know, I'm sure I still love to do these things, but a lack of opportunity to do them has left me feeling... detached.  On an island.  In a bubble.  Or maybe I just deprioritized it??


Late last year (fall and winter), as temperatures dropped and as I became more aware of my new circumstances, I craved physical touch.  In a huge way.  I noticed that I was going days and days without any physical interaction with another person.  I became strangely empathetic to the residents of the Skilled Nursing Facility I worked in, wondering how often they received a touch.  Not when they were getting changed or fed or cleaned up, but a hand reassuringly on the back or a hug even. It was pretty depressing


 My craving for physical touch is eventually what led me back to activity.  I knew that if I went to Crossfit after work, someone was going to hug me.  My coach, one of my friends-- someone.  I would get a quick 1 to 3 second embrace that would carry me through the next 24-48 hours.  Then I was introduced to yoga--- Zuda to be specific-- where they have assistants that come around during practice and touch you.  Sometimes they help you work through a pose, but sometimes they come by and give you a little rub down.  For pretty much all of December and January I found myself at Crossfit or Zuda every day of the week.  If I missed a day-- it's because I would be seeing a friend and could count on a hug there.


When I think back to this, part of me (the mean, judgmental part) thinks: how pathetic.  I craved touch so badly that I was willing to pay people to touch me.  Not that way... but... you know.  In platonic, exercise related ways.  Another part of me is pretty proud of the fact that I found a way to get what I wanted (physical touch) while incorporating what I needed (physical activity, community, purpose, routine...). 


Things are a little different today.  Granted I am still working out anywhere from 3-6 days per week at Crossfit  (uh... I haven't seen the inside of Zuda studio in a few months), but I'm not seeking out physical touch anymore.  Sure, there are times when I'm at home, late at night, and think "wow, it'd be really nice to have someone to snuggle up to while watching a movie."  But that thought doesn't happen very often.  I don't crave physical touch anymore like I used to.  And I'm not sure if it's because I've created a personal space bubble or if it's just because it's not a priority like before. And these are the thoughts and theories that popped into my head, dying for attention at 3:00am yesterday...


The Bubble Theory-- by creating a personal space bubble I'm insulating myself against potential future hurt.  This could also be why I avoid dating and socializing outside of my current network of friends. 


The Other Theory-- maybe I've come to a point where I'm becoming more ok with myself.  I'm not looking for comfort from the outside to let me know that I'm ok-- I know that I'm ok and I know I've come a long way.  I don't need someone else's physical touch to validate that (or me).


The Truth-- it's probably a mixture of both theories. 


What it all means-- Probably nothing.  Maybe something.  I guess it's just interesting how life changes.  How needs change.  In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, there are 5 basic needs we have as human beings: physiological (breathing, paleo food, good wine/tequila, sex, homeostasis, etc.), safety (security of resources, employment, decent wi-fi, health, family, etc.), love/belonging (sexual intimacy, friendships, family, etc.), esteem (confidence, achievement, respect, Olympic lifting PRs, etc.), and self -actualization (morality, creativity, blogging with semi-regularity, etc.).   Okay, maybe I interpret Maslow's Hierarchy a little bit different than most, but the 5 needs are true to his Hierarchy.  And maybe because I didn't feel safety, love/belonging, esteem or self-actualization last year (and was uninterested in my physiological needs), I subconsciously focused on the one thing that meant the most to me at the time-- love/belonging-- not realizing that in searching for love/belonging, I would fulfill my other basic needs in new and exciting ways. 


Whoa.  Did that just come out of me?

Paleo Project, Day 10

Here we are!  Day 10!!  And I've been a paleo eating, home cooking machine!  True to my commitment to myself (with making room for my two, pre-approved outings), I've been doing a great job.  This week my cooking took a creative turn, out of necessity.  Normally when I go paleo I eat a lot of grilled chicken.  A lot.  And I get sick of it, but still eat it until I can't eat it anymore.... and then I fall off the paleo-wagon.  I also eat a lot of mixed greens or baby spinach just to fill myself up, but don't really consider flavor.


All of this is crazy because I?  Absolutely love cooking!  I try to get myself in the mind-set that "Food is Fuel, not Fun" but why can't it be both???   I know that one mental road block I have is spending a lot of time in the kitchen for only one person, but I've decided I will make elaborate meals or do big meal prep and be innovative/experimental Just For Me.  Because I am worth it.  I'm worth the time, it's fun and it's amazing fuel for my workouts.  So in addition to the trip tip and green beans I made, I decided to throw in some fun stuff. 


For starters, after much encouragement from a friend that loves it, I made Cashew Cheese.  It sounds pretty terrible, right?  Cashew Cheese.  It might as well be toe cheese... or head cheese.  It's not really cheese.  It's just nuts, pretending to be cheese.  I didn't think I needed that kind of deception in my life.  Until I made it. Crazily enough, as I was making it, the smell of the nutritional yeast made me not want to eat this weird concoction.  But here is the thing about nutritional yeast-- it's an awesome source for B vitamins, has all 18 amino acids, and it's believed to help balance out the gut by eliminating bad yeast.  So how can I write off this amazingly, nutrient dense, foul smelling food type product???  Mixed with the cashews, garlic and other ingredients, the nutritional yeast has more of a pungent smell than it does a taste.  The Cashew Cheese reminds of hummus more than it does a cheese spread, but the over all verdict is-- this stuff is fantastic!  I could easily see myself doing this once a month or so for variety in my diet. 


In addition to the Cashew Cheese, I attempted making crackers (because cheese and crackers! amiright?!?!).  The recipe I found seemed pretty easy and straight forward for herb crackers, but as I made them I was sure they weren't going to turn out.  Seriously?!  Three tablespoons of liquid to make a dough with 2 cups of almond flour?  Even after taking the crackers out of the oven, I was positive they would just turn to crumbs the second I touched them.  But after waiting the requisite 20 minutes, I had fabulous, savory-- almost buttery tasting-- herbed crackers!  This is something I can see myself making just about every week because they are THAT great.  Seriously.  People at work raved over how great the crackers were.  Non-paleo eating people.  Paleo skeptics.  They loved these paleo, vegan crackers.  Because what better way to make something sound awful, intimidating and disgusting that to call them Paleo Vegan Crackers.  I prefer just calling them homemade crackers.


The final food prep adventure I embarked upon was in making a dessert for the week. Here is the thing-- I don't have a major sweet tooth and I don't feel the need for having dessert at night.  I'm not a huge fan of ice cream and I can do without most pies and cobblers (unless they are apple...).  When I want something sweet, it's at about 2:30pm.  Last week I was majorly tempted by an attorney's candy dish that is located conveniently less than 6 feet from my desk.  I was able to resist the temptation, but it was difficult.  So-- thanks to the Huffington Post providing me with 27 Paleo Cookie Recipes to choose from ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/03/paleo-cookies_n_5749924.html), I tackled the Pumpkin Pie Cookies.  I added the optional dark chocolate chips to my cookies and mine did not look as pretty as the picture provided by the HuffPost, but the flavor??  To Die For.  Again, another Paleo item that people at work have been asking me to forward to them so they can try making them too. 


Already people are asking me what I'm going to bring in for them to try next week!  I'm considering attempting blueberry muffins from a recipe provided to me by Juvy (a CrossFit friend that makes the BEST baked goods),  maybe sweet potato chocolate chip cookies and hopefully something yummy for a main course like Butter Chicken over cauliflower rice.  We'll see how much I feel like prepping next week though.  The cooking is awesome!!  The dishes and clean up?  Not so much...

--------------------------
Recipes:
Cashew Cheese: http://www.nutritionstripped.com/classic-cashew-cheese/


Crackers: http://www.elanaspantry.com/vegan-herb-crackers/


Pumpkin Pie Cookies: http://detoxinista.com/2012/09/pumpkin-pie-cookies-vegan-grain-free/

The Paleo Project, Day 5

It's Day 5 and I haven't killed anyone yet. Which is totally awesome.  In fact, the only side effect I've dealt with so far is that I've been a little quick to get annoyed... and in the morning I have a low grade headache... and I'm having weird cravings for things I don't even usually eat... and I'm more tired than normal... and I'm peeing... a lot... like wake up in the night multiple times to pee.  Ok so maybe I have a few side effects. Totes normal though, right? 
Yes.  Totally normal.  My body is flushing out toxins and dealing with low-grade withdrawal from all the crap I've lovingly forced into my system via legumes, grains and dairy.  Now that my body is actually able to isolate some of these toxins (since there isn't a steady stream of them coming in), it's moving them around and flushing them out.  Hence the headache and crazy pee schedule. 
In two weeks though I should be able to start looking forward to the increased mental clarity, increased emotional balance, fat loss, decreased joint pain, and clearer skin.  You know... as long as I don't shit the bed and go carb-crazy. 
To be honest this morning I woke up a wee bit late and had to make an effort to talk myself out of my normal bad habits.  What I wanted to do was rush to get ready and then head to Nugget (my favorite grocery store) to get an Americano and a cup of apple cinnamon oatmeal... And pick up one of their ready made boxed lunches with chicken salad, grapes, cucumbers and (my craving all week) lovely, buttery Ritz crackers.  Alas, that would break almost all of my September rules.  And since I overslept, I knew I didn't have time to make myself a warm breakfast.   What's a girl to do in these situations??? 
Instead of focusing what I wanted to do but shouldn't do, I decided to switch gears and focus on what I could do.  I grabbed an extra (pre-weighed and wrapped) bundle of grilled chicken, some extra nuts and threw it into my lunch bag as I ran out the door.  Luckily I had extra coffee in the pot from yesterday so I poured it over some ice with a splash of almond milk.  Quick, easy, homemade and paleo.  Boom. 


By over preparing on Tuesday for the week, I was able to recover from what could have been self-sabotage.    So here is a pat on the back to me and also a good dose of encouragement that I'm on the right path.  I'm making good choices.  I'm eating healthy, I'm being active and my body will (eventually) thank me.  Until then though, I'll be napping.... 

The Paleo Project, Day 2

It's day 2 of Paleo eating and home cooking!  The good news??  I'm enjoying bullet proof coffee this morning, I haven't yelled at anyone yet and I'm feeling pretty fantastic.  The bad news??  I can feel a low dull headache on the surface and know that my "withdrawal" symptoms are going to happen any day now. 
To recap the changes that I'm making for September are the following:

• no dairy (except for the Kerrygold unsalted butter in my coffee)
• no grains
• no legumes
• no eating out
• no buying coffee
• only home cooked meals by me or friends (no grocery store pre-made deli options for me!)
• no going out (except for a birthday party on the 6th I had previously committed myself to... and a date-type invitation I accepted for this Thursday...)
• no alcohol (except for the Lurong Living Paleo challenge permitted 4 oz of wine per day)
• no processed sugar or sugar substitutes
• journal/blog the process (it's good, bad and ugly.... and it probably will get ugly)

 I think that pretty much sums it up. Sunday night, in true fanfare, a friend and I went out to consume mass quantities of breaded-goodness and Jameson.  Because that is how we roll.  We like to make sure we are good and sick from too much of a bad thing to make our commitment that much more solid.  And trust, yesterday morning I was definitely suffering from a carb-hangover.  Much like an alcohol fueled hangover a carb-hangover results in nausea, fatigue and a bad attitude.  Luckily I had 4 workouts that needed to be completed with a team to force me to get my butt off the couch.  After a solid 3+ hours of sweating, burpees and laughter (my team rocks FYI), I was finally ready to eat. 

Paleo Transition Reminder #1-- I experience INTENSE hunger (or become Hangry) in the first week of paleo eating and nothing ever sounds good.  Except for every damn thing I cannot eat.

After scarfing mass quantities (okay, maybe 6-7 oz) of grilled beef, fresh veggies and fruit the beast was mostly tamed.  I did go back for more fruit later (mmmm... fresh strawberries), but consider the day an overall success.

Paleo Transition Reminder #2-- Consuming higher than normal amounts of fresh fruit during the first 7-10 days helps ease the sugar cravings, carb cravings and craziness.  It's not ideal but it's what helps me transition and after the first two weeks, the sugar cravings go away and fruit consumption goes down. 

With today as Day 2 and my first day back to work post-holiday weekend, I had to get up earlier to make sure I was ready to tackle the day without leaving room for error.  A nice fresh breakfast of eggs and salsa (protein + fat with minimal carbs), bullet proof coffee (caffeine + fat), snacks and lunch (more protein, fat and some carbs), lots of water and my supplements definitely set me up for success! 

Paleo Transition Reminder #3-- taking your supplements regularly helps. Vitamins D, B and 5-HTP will help with mood management, Omega 3s will help with brain function and are an anti-inflammatory (stupid joints),  PurePharma M3 (minerals) to help with recovery, fatigue and electrolyte balance and finally... in just a few days I'll add Lurong (velvet deer antler) to the mix. 

Although right now it feels like a lot of work and inconvenience, in a couple short weeks it'll feel like routine and I will feel amazing!  I just need to focus, stay strong and believe in the mission at hand.

"There are no secrets to success.  It's the result of preparation, hard work and learning from failure." --Colin Powell